The art of leaning back in relationships

Last week I got a message from a client. She had met someone and was losing her mind.

She was thinking about him constantly, wondering if he was as interested in her.

Checking her phone nonstop and unable to focus on anything else.

I could see where this could go….

Such an energy could easily push him away, even if he liked her.

When we focus so much on the other, we end up losing our balance.

We forget who we are.

And whether we act on it – for example texting frantically… – or not, this unmanaged chasing energy is felt by the other. Our potential partner has no space, including to check in with his own feelings.

What I told my client: lean back.

Stop reaching out. Stop chasing.

Lean back physically but also emotionally and energetically.

As your actions need to be congruent with your thoughts...

Stop focusing on them. Stop projecting.

Instead come back to yourself. To your center. To your sense of self-worth.

Slow down. Notice how you are feeling. Check what your needs are.

How can you take care of these needs?

Leaning back is about choosing to stay intimate with yourself, instead of pushing intimacy with someone else.

First, you will feel better.

And then you will allow your potential partner the space to lead things forward.

Space is essential in relationships.

So that they can connect to themselves, feel if the desire is there.

And make a move, if they want to.

And if they don’t, you won’t make it a problem.

You won’t take it personally.

Leaning back is one of the most important tools when you want to create a relationship, especially one with a strong polarity. But to be able to stay in intimacy with ourselves – especially when we are triggered… – requires inner work.

This is what I teach my clients: connecting with themselves, trusting their worth, being able to come back to their center.

The result is less drama in dating… and better partners.